What do you want more of?

I have it a new tool for a shy guy.

So it takes me a minute to settle into a conversation even though I love connecting with people.  The tool is this: ask people about themselves.

Sample Dialogue:

Betty: What is life coaching anyway?

Sean:  Coaching helps people be more effective in their relationships, careers or spirituality. Can I ask you a question?

Betty: Sure, but i don't really understand the coaching thing.

Sean: What do you want more of in your life?

Betty: I want more money, more love, more happiness. I want more free time to do the things that I love.  Actually, I want more free time to find out what it is that I love. 

Sean: That's great.  Can you tell me about some of the things that you love?

Betty:  I love running.  It is not always fun.  So maybe I love how It makes me feel.  How I am calm and focused during the day.  I love talking with my mom on the phone.  I love going out to eat.  I love sunsets and pina coladas. I love dancing and feeling sexy. I love political debates.

Sean:  It is exciting to just hear you talking about your passions.  How much of your self do you devote to these loves?

Betty: I can't really say.  I probably am able to squeeze in a run 3 days a week.  But it has months since I went out dancing or enjoyed a sunset.

Sean: I know you probably need to get back to work.  But I have very much enjoyed our conversation.  I would like to offer you a free sample session.  Can I get your contact information?  In the coaching session we will discuss what is holding you back, and strategies for moving you forward.  My favorite part about the coaching model is that it provides an accountability partner.  Thank you Betty.  It has been great talking with you.

Betty:  (handing me her card)  Thank you Sean.  It was nice to meet you.  I think I will make time for a run after work today... 

Thank you to everyone who has given me this advice.  The anxiety is a little flag signaling a fork in the road.  Instead of talking about coaching, I will do more coaching.  Having people talk about themselves allows me to relax and connect.